"Don't worry, God is in control."
There have been seasons in my life where this phrase has been comforting, where I've been neutral about it, and when I've wanted to smack the person that said it on the back of the head. It's become a cliche' around Christian circles to many, but a great reminder for others.
I'm an analytical kind of guy - sometimes to a fault. Regardless, I look for evidence that God is actually in control before I allow this phrase to take on any meaning. Taking things on faith is all well and good, but I want proof of as much as I can to give credence to the things I must take on faith.
"God is in control" is a tough one to swallow on faith. Our country, founded by Christians, is in a steep downward spiral spiritually. Terrorism is threatening to work its way inside our borders. "Christians" around the country are doing and have been accused of horrible things. The evidence points to an evil that is getting the upper hand and carrying some serious momentum.
Take a look at Romans 8:28 - 30 (text below). This is where we get the idea of the effectual calling - it's the evidence that God calls us to Himself and we then respond in faith rather than our response to the external call moving God to save us. I'd encourage you to read more about that idea here, but for now, we're going to move ahead.
Because God calls us before we respond, and we know that God does not fail, the effectual call is irresistible. By God's grace, everyone He calls responds and cries out to Him in faith. Are there pretenders and wolves hiding in sheep's clothing? Absolutely. Difficult seasons or simply time exposes their true hearts. The beauty of the call is seeing a person's life genuinely transformed.
No matter how bad things get in this world, God has always been here. He interacted with us for a while as God the Father. He walked among us for a while as God the Son (Jesus). Now He lives in each of us that He has called through God the Spirit. He has infiltrated our sinful nature - an act that can't happen without changing us.
Every time a new conversion happens, it's proof that God is still working and He is still in control. If God can call one, He can call all. What makes us think for a moment that He doesn't have the power to turn the tide of this entire world with just a word?
Yes, it is true that we don't understand why God doesn't do just that. It can be frustrating. We know that His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). That I'll have to hold on to in faith. The confidence comes in part from the testimony of each person that He has called. Your testimony is tangible proof that God is still in control.
In a world that seems to be growing in chaos more every day, we can hold on to the promises in Scripture. That means we need to be spending time with it for starters. We can also look for the tangible evidence around us of how God is at work. The stories and testimonies of Christians are a great one.
I know it can be hard to see God's work when you're not used to looking for it. Ask around those you know belong to Christ. Ask them how God personally changed their life and allow that evidence to spur your confidence as you seek to navigate this life - and remember that God is in control.
Romans 8:28-30 English Standard Version (ESV)
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Sunday, October 25, 2015
The Rich Man and Lazarus: Who's at Your Gate?
I ended up travelling to Louisville on a business trip this past week. While it didn't lend itself to getting any writing done, it did present several opportunities to apply last Sunday's passage. We were in Luke 16 again - this time looking at the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus (see text below). There's a lot in here to talk about, but I'm going to focus on the man at the gate.
As our pastor was giving us insight into this passage, there was an attitude that struck me. The Rich Man passed by Lazarus day after day and simply ignored him. Plenty of well known researchers and even celebrities have run the experiment where they dress up like homeless people and sit on the sidewalk holding a sign. Every one of these studies I have read about result in the same reaction - "It was amazing how I simply became invisible to everyone passing by."
I can imagine that Lazarus felt the same way in this story - invisible. It was like he was just part of the landscaping at the Rich Man's gate; albeit an unattractive part. I'm guilty of the same behavior when I'm around the homeless and beggars (and others that I don't think about). Here's the thing though - it's intentional on my part to make them part of the landscaping. By ignoring their humanity and not recognizing their Creator, I can pass it off as someone else's problem.
I considered the multitude of problems in our culture and around the world. The fact is, I don't want to know about most of it. Seeing it is disturbing. Being disturbed creates compassion. Compassion becomes a desire to act. Staring at the size of the problem becomes overwhelming. Overwhelmed, I feel impotent to make any difference. Impotence leads to hopelessness and hopelessness to inaction. It becomes easier to let those issues become part of the landscaping.
Isn't there a reality that I can't do something about everything? Is it possible to do everything about something? I just don't have the resources. That's all true, but there's also a carefully crafted lie in there. The truth is God has given you and me talent and resources that do make a difference. I won't solve the world's problems on my own - that's not my job. Jesus is the Savior of the world, I'm just a tool available for His use when He needs me.
This past week, my Bride and I prayed that we would see the beggar at our gate. As we talked through it, we just weren't convinced of who or what that could be. We weren't used to looking for them. We asked for the ability to seem them along with the boldness and courage to act on it. Our prayers were answered in ways we didn't expect.
Remember the Parable of the Shrewd Manager? The takeaway was that we should use all of resources, from money to our intelligence and wisdom, to win others for the sake of spreading the Gospel. We're giving financially to the church and have a desire to be more generous as time goes on. Yet with the opportunities God presented us this week, it didn't cost us anything financially. What people were begging for was kindness to be shown, love to be extended, and to hear about what grace really means.
Sometimes the avenue to open someone's heart to the message of Jesus does have a financial cost. Other times, all they want is to live with the kind of peace and joy that only the Spirit living in us can offer. Still others just want to overcome the hurdle holding them back from a relationship with Christ or even their family. There are many more.
Regardless of what it looks like, ask God to open your eyes to the beggar at your gate. He doesn't ask to you tackle the entire world. What we need to do is be available and be seeking the part He is asking us to play. We can be confident He will give us the resources to handle it. Just keep the lines of communication open and remember it's not your will and effort making things happen. God isn't delegating this to you as a manager, He's working with you. While you're acting as His agent to help others, He's also refining and sanctifying you in the process.
Luke 16:19 - 31
The Rich Man and Lazarus
19 “There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. 20 And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, 21 who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's side.[f] The rich man also died and was buried, 23 and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. 24 And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.’ 27 And he said, ‘Then I beg you, father, to send him to my father's house— 28 for I have five brothers[g]—so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.’ 29 But Abraham said, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’”
As our pastor was giving us insight into this passage, there was an attitude that struck me. The Rich Man passed by Lazarus day after day and simply ignored him. Plenty of well known researchers and even celebrities have run the experiment where they dress up like homeless people and sit on the sidewalk holding a sign. Every one of these studies I have read about result in the same reaction - "It was amazing how I simply became invisible to everyone passing by."
I can imagine that Lazarus felt the same way in this story - invisible. It was like he was just part of the landscaping at the Rich Man's gate; albeit an unattractive part. I'm guilty of the same behavior when I'm around the homeless and beggars (and others that I don't think about). Here's the thing though - it's intentional on my part to make them part of the landscaping. By ignoring their humanity and not recognizing their Creator, I can pass it off as someone else's problem.
I considered the multitude of problems in our culture and around the world. The fact is, I don't want to know about most of it. Seeing it is disturbing. Being disturbed creates compassion. Compassion becomes a desire to act. Staring at the size of the problem becomes overwhelming. Overwhelmed, I feel impotent to make any difference. Impotence leads to hopelessness and hopelessness to inaction. It becomes easier to let those issues become part of the landscaping.
Isn't there a reality that I can't do something about everything? Is it possible to do everything about something? I just don't have the resources. That's all true, but there's also a carefully crafted lie in there. The truth is God has given you and me talent and resources that do make a difference. I won't solve the world's problems on my own - that's not my job. Jesus is the Savior of the world, I'm just a tool available for His use when He needs me.
This past week, my Bride and I prayed that we would see the beggar at our gate. As we talked through it, we just weren't convinced of who or what that could be. We weren't used to looking for them. We asked for the ability to seem them along with the boldness and courage to act on it. Our prayers were answered in ways we didn't expect.
Remember the Parable of the Shrewd Manager? The takeaway was that we should use all of resources, from money to our intelligence and wisdom, to win others for the sake of spreading the Gospel. We're giving financially to the church and have a desire to be more generous as time goes on. Yet with the opportunities God presented us this week, it didn't cost us anything financially. What people were begging for was kindness to be shown, love to be extended, and to hear about what grace really means.
Sometimes the avenue to open someone's heart to the message of Jesus does have a financial cost. Other times, all they want is to live with the kind of peace and joy that only the Spirit living in us can offer. Still others just want to overcome the hurdle holding them back from a relationship with Christ or even their family. There are many more.
Regardless of what it looks like, ask God to open your eyes to the beggar at your gate. He doesn't ask to you tackle the entire world. What we need to do is be available and be seeking the part He is asking us to play. We can be confident He will give us the resources to handle it. Just keep the lines of communication open and remember it's not your will and effort making things happen. God isn't delegating this to you as a manager, He's working with you. While you're acting as His agent to help others, He's also refining and sanctifying you in the process.
Luke 16:19 - 31
The Rich Man and Lazarus
19 “There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. 20 And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, 21 who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's side.[f] The rich man also died and was buried, 23 and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. 24 And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ 25 But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.’ 27 And he said, ‘Then I beg you, father, to send him to my father's house— 28 for I have five brothers[g]—so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.’ 29 But Abraham said, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’”
Friday, October 16, 2015
Recognizing Sin
This is probably more of a confessional than anything else today. In a way, it's more like a public journal, but I hope that my thoughts will still offer encouragement and provoke thought.
As a recovering pharisee, I had one of those "the guy I used to be moments" yesterday. A good friend and mentor of mine were planning a social event as a way to reward some hard working people. When I looked at the guest list, I noticed a few people that weren't part of the group in the way I had expected.
Admittedly, I immediately started rationalizing in my mind why they shouldn't be there. Part of it was a feeling that I wanted the event to be exclusive. Part of it was feelings I had left with from a former church, thought I had dealt with, but had really only put a band-aid over. So where did my thoughts go? Back to a self-righteous, high and mighty mindset.
Through the work of the Spirit, I was convicted that my reaction was sinful and I was ashamed. I told my friend my honest thoughts (he's also my primary means of counsel, so I wanted to be transparent) along with the disclaimer that I needed some time to pray and meditate to get down to what was at the root.
This was actually kind of exciting to me. Though I was ashamed, it also marks a moment where I was able to able to immediately recognize the sin and the lie for what is was - before it had a chance to really take hold.
The whole thing had thrown me off, so I needed to take the time right then to start working through it. My mind wandered to the last couple of sermons, in particular the last one from Luke 16:1 - 15 about the Dishonest Manager. I thought about the idea that we'd been hitting on considering generosity and how we should be using our resources for the glory of the Kingdom rather than our own comfort.
As I recalled that passage, the Spirit led me to look deeper at my own thoughts and feelings. I knew it wasn't right and I knew I didn't like, but I was still having trouble understanding. After chewing on it a little while, He led me to it - selfishness.
See, I am where I am today thanks to the grace and mercy of God and the generosity of others. Yet I had made this simple social gathering about me and my comfort when it was supposed to be a thank you to others. The additional names took me away from where I was comfortable and in control.
The fact is we're constantly looking for ways to be generous towards our friends. Finding the smallest connection as an excuse to include others is part of the fun of generosity. So we're going to have a good time and we're going to give away a lot of great stuff. My hope is that as we use the "unrighteous wealth" of this world to bless others, that it is God who will be glorified and not us.
All of the good things we have came from Him and we're only stewards. As He continues to refine me and convict me of my sin, it is my desire to start living more like a steward and less like a master. It doesn't come easy though. In a world that would draw us in the opposite direction, it's only by faith in Christ's work and through belief in the absolute truth of Scripture that we'll have the confidence to stand up to the lies and deception - and recognize them for what they are.
As a recovering pharisee, I had one of those "the guy I used to be moments" yesterday. A good friend and mentor of mine were planning a social event as a way to reward some hard working people. When I looked at the guest list, I noticed a few people that weren't part of the group in the way I had expected.
Admittedly, I immediately started rationalizing in my mind why they shouldn't be there. Part of it was a feeling that I wanted the event to be exclusive. Part of it was feelings I had left with from a former church, thought I had dealt with, but had really only put a band-aid over. So where did my thoughts go? Back to a self-righteous, high and mighty mindset.
Through the work of the Spirit, I was convicted that my reaction was sinful and I was ashamed. I told my friend my honest thoughts (he's also my primary means of counsel, so I wanted to be transparent) along with the disclaimer that I needed some time to pray and meditate to get down to what was at the root.
This was actually kind of exciting to me. Though I was ashamed, it also marks a moment where I was able to able to immediately recognize the sin and the lie for what is was - before it had a chance to really take hold.
The whole thing had thrown me off, so I needed to take the time right then to start working through it. My mind wandered to the last couple of sermons, in particular the last one from Luke 16:1 - 15 about the Dishonest Manager. I thought about the idea that we'd been hitting on considering generosity and how we should be using our resources for the glory of the Kingdom rather than our own comfort.
As I recalled that passage, the Spirit led me to look deeper at my own thoughts and feelings. I knew it wasn't right and I knew I didn't like, but I was still having trouble understanding. After chewing on it a little while, He led me to it - selfishness.
See, I am where I am today thanks to the grace and mercy of God and the generosity of others. Yet I had made this simple social gathering about me and my comfort when it was supposed to be a thank you to others. The additional names took me away from where I was comfortable and in control.
The fact is we're constantly looking for ways to be generous towards our friends. Finding the smallest connection as an excuse to include others is part of the fun of generosity. So we're going to have a good time and we're going to give away a lot of great stuff. My hope is that as we use the "unrighteous wealth" of this world to bless others, that it is God who will be glorified and not us.
All of the good things we have came from Him and we're only stewards. As He continues to refine me and convict me of my sin, it is my desire to start living more like a steward and less like a master. It doesn't come easy though. In a world that would draw us in the opposite direction, it's only by faith in Christ's work and through belief in the absolute truth of Scripture that we'll have the confidence to stand up to the lies and deception - and recognize them for what they are.
Monday, October 12, 2015
The Parable of the Dishonest Manager - Praising the Bad Guy
Luke 16: 1 - 15 (text below) chronicles the Parable of the Shrewd (or dishonest in some translations) Manager and is on of the more confusing texts in the New Testament.When my Bride and I read through it together, we had trouble seeing the point that Jesus was trying to make. We were so caught up in the poor character of the manager that we couldn't see that Jesus was praising him for the talents that he had.
This guy essentially is about to get fired, so he writes off significant amounts of debt that his master in owed in hopes of finding favor with those who owe. He's making his exit strategy. He thinks through what he is and is not good at then makes the decision to set the foundation for a life that he can find tolerable, if not comfortable.
Here's the point that Jesus is making to the disciples that he is speaking to and the Pharisees listening in - if people are willing to use their talent, wit, and intelligence to benefit themselves, why aren't we doing the same thing for the Kingdom of God?
That's a great question. I bring the full force of my knowledge, skills, and abilities to bear on my work. We need money to survive in this world, so we work hard to earn it then use wisdom in how we decide to spend and save it. If the Kingdom and the Church is so important to me, doesn't it also deserve my full effort?
Last week, I came to the conclusion that in order to be rich towards God, I needed to really consider if everything I have is available to Him if He asks for it. This text forces me to realize that He gave me intelligence, wisdom, and drive in some measure as well. It's compels me to consider He didn't give me those just to earn a living, but for His glory and benefit. So now the question changes. If I have made everything (or even just some things as I mature) in my life available, how am I proactively using or preparing to use those to benefit the Kingdom?
What if I take account of the gifts God has given me? I'm responsible for the accounting of how I use them, just like in the Parable of the Talents. We all have a responsibility to use what we have just like an good businessman would consider what he has and what he needs to pursue the passion of his drive.
One last thought from the conversation my Bride and I had - it's easy for me as a recovering pharisee to take this down a legalistic road and try to figure out how all of my gifts are being used all the time for the work of Christ. It's not going to happen that way. We can always give monetarily because it's always needed. It's a great form of worship. We can also look around us to the believers we need to connect with and the people we have the opportunity to reach. Then take a look at your gifts and start working on how make those connections using the gifts, blessings, and talents you have.
Luke 16:1-15New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Shrewd Manager
16 Jesus told his disciples: “There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. 2 So he called him in and asked him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.’
3 “The manager said to himself, ‘What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I’m not strong enough to dig, and I’m ashamed to beg— 4 I know what I’ll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.’
5 “So he called in each one of his master’s debtors. He asked the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’
6 “‘Nine hundred gallons[a] of olive oil,’ he replied.
“The manager told him, ‘Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred and fifty.’
7 “Then he asked the second, ‘And how much do you owe?’
“‘A thousand bushels[b] of wheat,’ he replied.
“He told him, ‘Take your bill and make it eight hundred.’
8 “The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. 9 I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.
10 “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. 11 So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? 12 And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?
13 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
14 The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus.15 He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
The Parable of the Rich Fool - Why is it So Hard to Trust?
What are the things you worry about most in life? Why is it so hard to trust God for His Provision?
Worry - we're told not to worry (Matthew 6:24 - 34), yet I do it every day. I worry about having enough money to cover the bills, take care of unexpected expenses, to purchase the things I'd like to have, and to so things we'd like to do. I worry about the welfare of our children since my ex-wife has such different views than I do. I worry about meeting deadlines and working far enough ahead for things to be in place when I travel for work.
I'm anxious about my weight and the ability to bike and run the way I'd like to. I get stressed about finishing the decorating and organizing of our apartment. I get worked up about the political and social state of our country along with how I can prepare our children to persevere in it. I've actually got a list on my phone of things that stress me out so I have a place to put those thoughts and get them out of my head without consuming me.
So why is it so hard to trust that God will take of all these things and just let it go?
I'm a recovering pharisee. For 34 years, I took care of righteousness by my own effort. I didn't need God to do anything for me. The only thing I needed other people for was to advance whatever current agenda was on my mind.
When I was finally put on my knees, I had to be completely and utterly dependent on God and others for everything. It was terrifying and amazing all at the same time. But even as I've been refined through the process and the wounds heal with time, it's tempting to fall back into those old habits of taking care of my own problems.
The insane thing is that God has shown me love, faithfulness, and grace in every situation. He hasn't given me a single reason not to trust Him, yet I'm quick to take back the reigns as soon as I have the chance.
A friend and mentor once told me that all sin boils down to one of two things - pride or fear. We want control in our pride and that's why it's so hard to trust God with those things that we think we can handle on our own. In our pride, we still know that God can handle it and that He will handle it better than we will. Still, pride whispers to us constantly the song of the Sirens and we have great difficulty fighting it off. So we work it in all out foolishness until we find ourselves in a mess that leaves us no choice but to look to God.
There's hope though. Each time we fall to pride, God proves His faithfulness and sustenance to us again and our confidence in Him grows. While I know worry and pride are areas that I need to improve in, recognizing that is an important point. We can pray that God would work on our areas of weakness and help our confidence and trust in Him to grow stronger as we mature. Then with each small step or giant leap of faith that we take, we'll see His faithfulness and be able to use that experience to help and encourage others.
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
Listen online here or download the file.
Worry - we're told not to worry (Matthew 6:24 - 34), yet I do it every day. I worry about having enough money to cover the bills, take care of unexpected expenses, to purchase the things I'd like to have, and to so things we'd like to do. I worry about the welfare of our children since my ex-wife has such different views than I do. I worry about meeting deadlines and working far enough ahead for things to be in place when I travel for work.
I'm anxious about my weight and the ability to bike and run the way I'd like to. I get stressed about finishing the decorating and organizing of our apartment. I get worked up about the political and social state of our country along with how I can prepare our children to persevere in it. I've actually got a list on my phone of things that stress me out so I have a place to put those thoughts and get them out of my head without consuming me.
So why is it so hard to trust that God will take of all these things and just let it go?
I'm a recovering pharisee. For 34 years, I took care of righteousness by my own effort. I didn't need God to do anything for me. The only thing I needed other people for was to advance whatever current agenda was on my mind.
When I was finally put on my knees, I had to be completely and utterly dependent on God and others for everything. It was terrifying and amazing all at the same time. But even as I've been refined through the process and the wounds heal with time, it's tempting to fall back into those old habits of taking care of my own problems.
The insane thing is that God has shown me love, faithfulness, and grace in every situation. He hasn't given me a single reason not to trust Him, yet I'm quick to take back the reigns as soon as I have the chance.
A friend and mentor once told me that all sin boils down to one of two things - pride or fear. We want control in our pride and that's why it's so hard to trust God with those things that we think we can handle on our own. In our pride, we still know that God can handle it and that He will handle it better than we will. Still, pride whispers to us constantly the song of the Sirens and we have great difficulty fighting it off. So we work it in all out foolishness until we find ourselves in a mess that leaves us no choice but to look to God.
There's hope though. Each time we fall to pride, God proves His faithfulness and sustenance to us again and our confidence in Him grows. While I know worry and pride are areas that I need to improve in, recognizing that is an important point. We can pray that God would work on our areas of weakness and help our confidence and trust in Him to grow stronger as we mature. Then with each small step or giant leap of faith that we take, we'll see His faithfulness and be able to use that experience to help and encourage others.
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
Listen online here or download the file.
Friday, October 9, 2015
Parable of the Rich Fool - Does Being Rich Towards God Have to Involve Money?
What does it mean to be rich towards God? (Luke 12:21) Is it possible to truly be rich towards God without involving your pocketbook.
For me, what lies at the heart of this question is generosity. That can take many forms. Some people are generous with their time and will drop things mid-project to help someone in need. Others are generous with their belongings and you know who you can go to if you need to borrow a tool, a car, or a vacation house. Still others with their talents and are willing to teach you any skill they possess from HTML coding or training for a marathon to gator hunting. Yes, there are those who are generous with their money. They'll help a person in need and it's as much a blessing for the giver as it is the receiver.
When it comes to being rich towards God, I believe that it has to do with remembering that everything you have, including your life itself, belongs to Him. That forces me to ask if I am making everything available to Him.
Am I willing to help someone repair their home? Am I available to to be a cycling or running coach to someone who struggles with exercise? Will I step out and tutor someone trying to make sense of math or science? Do I hold back if there is a need to provide meals? Am I willing to give money for the benefit of the Kingdom or one of its members? Is my life available should God ask me to pick up and go somewhere else on His behalf?
Honestly, some of these answers are easier than others for me. I'm good at making excuses. As I've been told, I have a B.S. in B.S.. From my heart, consistently giving to the church is a not only a form of worship, it's also a reminder that all areas of my life need to be made available. It's an area that's difficult for me though and I'm thankful that my Bride is able to keep me accountable.
Is it possible to be generous towards God without involving your pocketbook? Sure, God can do anything. It's possible to have your entire life available to Him and money not be something He requires of you during some season - but it would extremely rare. If you think you're in that boat, I'd encourage to really dig deep and get with a trusted elder or pastor to examine that.
For most of us, opening our wallets to be generous is the hardest part of worship. When we do it consistently though, our act of worship keeps the flow of availability open. It's much easier to develop a generous heart towards God when there's a least a trickle there to work with. If we show ourselves to be faithful with what we have, perhaps we can be trusted with the resources to have the flood of generosity that we hope for.
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
For me, what lies at the heart of this question is generosity. That can take many forms. Some people are generous with their time and will drop things mid-project to help someone in need. Others are generous with their belongings and you know who you can go to if you need to borrow a tool, a car, or a vacation house. Still others with their talents and are willing to teach you any skill they possess from HTML coding or training for a marathon to gator hunting. Yes, there are those who are generous with their money. They'll help a person in need and it's as much a blessing for the giver as it is the receiver.
When it comes to being rich towards God, I believe that it has to do with remembering that everything you have, including your life itself, belongs to Him. That forces me to ask if I am making everything available to Him.
Am I willing to help someone repair their home? Am I available to to be a cycling or running coach to someone who struggles with exercise? Will I step out and tutor someone trying to make sense of math or science? Do I hold back if there is a need to provide meals? Am I willing to give money for the benefit of the Kingdom or one of its members? Is my life available should God ask me to pick up and go somewhere else on His behalf?
Honestly, some of these answers are easier than others for me. I'm good at making excuses. As I've been told, I have a B.S. in B.S.. From my heart, consistently giving to the church is a not only a form of worship, it's also a reminder that all areas of my life need to be made available. It's an area that's difficult for me though and I'm thankful that my Bride is able to keep me accountable.
Is it possible to be generous towards God without involving your pocketbook? Sure, God can do anything. It's possible to have your entire life available to Him and money not be something He requires of you during some season - but it would extremely rare. If you think you're in that boat, I'd encourage to really dig deep and get with a trusted elder or pastor to examine that.
For most of us, opening our wallets to be generous is the hardest part of worship. When we do it consistently though, our act of worship keeps the flow of availability open. It's much easier to develop a generous heart towards God when there's a least a trickle there to work with. If we show ourselves to be faithful with what we have, perhaps we can be trusted with the resources to have the flood of generosity that we hope for.
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
Thursday, October 8, 2015
The Parable of the Rich Fool - How You Spend Your Money
The way you spend your money is a direct reflection on what you value the most. Agree or disagree?
Looking at the text from the Parable of the Rich Fool (below), we could come to the conclusion that the subject of the parable put his value in the ability to store up grain and goods - the accumulation of wealth. Looking at this person, it would be easy to agree that the way he spent his money is a direct reflection of what he valued. But what if I turn that question around on myself?
Before I elaborate, let me plainly say that I agree with the above statement. Money is talked about so much because it is one of the hardest things for us to let go of. It's easy to find security and hope in money. So when we look at the things that we're willing to part with our money on, I'd say that's a good indication of what's important to us.
If I'm honest about my budget, we spend the most on our apartment, food, child support, and on down the list. Giving is near the bottom of the list if you take it from a total amount point of view. It makes up about 3% of our budget. Does that mean supporting the church and Christ's work isn't a priority for us? No. The amount that we have budgeted for giving is not negotiable unless we're talking about giving more. It's set aside from the first check. So I'd say that we do value the ability to give to the work of the church.
Let me flip the coin for a moment. What would happen when unexpected expenses come up? Is giving the first thing to be reduced? I think that says a lot as well. Actually, we have some of those unexpected expenses. A $1000 trip to the ER, a $1500 orthodontist bill for our son, Another unknown amount from a doctor's visit for strep throat for our son, tires for my car. We don't have that kind of money saved. There's going to be some pinching and stretching, but our giving isn't on the table for consideration.
When we made the commitment to start giving regularly, we didn't make it hurt as much as many people are willing to. We just wanted to get started giving something consistently. We've got a plan for increasing our giving though. We decided that we would give 10% of any increase in income that we receive. We know that our current bills are covered, so we're going to make that commitment right off the top before any of that new salary or bonus is spent. That's just the way we've decided to handle it.
I get that many of you are jaded from church experiences where you really didn't know where your money went, you pastor was living in a million dollar home, the stewardship of the money was horrible, or you were actually swindled. I get that. When you feel that pull to start giving for the first time, but you're hesitant because of that experience, consider where your passions are. Do you hurt for children in the sex trade? Feel a desire to reach those in prison? Love the work an urban ministry does? Do some research on Christian organizations involved and start by giving there.
Talk to the pastor or elders at the church you attend. Any good church will be open about their financial reports. Once you've done your due diligence, I'd encourage to start giving to your church. It doesn't have to be a 10%, just pick a number you're comfortable with after praying about it and make it a habit, even if it's small. Giving is a form of worship between you and God, not a competition to prove who's the most self-righteous.
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
Listen online here or download the file.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
This Parable of the Rich Fool - How Does it Make You Feel...?
This is nothing more than my personal reflection from our last sermon on the Parable of the Rich Fool. The text is Luke 12:13-21 and my hope is that you'll take a quick read through that passage (text below) and consider with me this question:.
What thoughts run through your mind when the church talks about money?
My thoughts immediately turn to the idea that I should be giving more. My wife and I don't give 10% - it's quite a bit less than that. Not that it makes me righteous by any means, but we got into the habit of giving a consistent amount. No percentages or calculations, just a set amount that we write a check for each week. While it's still not up to the common (but no longer required) standard of 10%, our goal is to contribute 10% of any increases we see in income moving forward. Hey, it's a start.
I know that you're supposed to give from your first fruits. I'm happy to give the entire amount from our first paycheck of the month. My wife likes to be able to put something in the offering each week. What do we do? Compromise. We budget our giving from the very beginning, but we give each week as a way to participate in that form of worship.
Even with our meager giving, I always think to the things that I could really do without in my life and my mind wanders to how easy it would be to give up some of those luxuries to give more. That also leads to how my time is spent. Giving up some of the luxuries would also free up time that could be spent volunteering or serving in other capacities. I workout probably 5 - 7 hours a week. How much could I contribute in both time and money if I were to sell my bike and ditch the cycling/running habit?
From the side of me that I'm not so proud of, I often think to the support that I send monthly to a single mom from my former hometown. That's actually 23% of my income if we're going to be counting. It's no secret that I'm divorced and that "donation" is child support.
It's easy to think that I shouldn't have to give to the church when I'm already giving so much off the top, but that's a lie. There are consequences to sin, and child support is one of them. I have a responsibility to provide financially for my children whether the state sets the amount or not. Giving over and above that is where I'm worshiping God, not when I legalistically attempt to rationalize it otherwise.
I'm still left with more questions at this point and I'm sure you may be as well. That's okay - getting answers to those questions and applying them is part of our growth process.
There are three more questions to consider as we work through this text. We'll hit those in the next three days. For now, I'd love to hear what you have to say about this first question! Head over to Facebook and let's chat about it!
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
Listen online here or download the file.
What thoughts run through your mind when the church talks about money?
My thoughts immediately turn to the idea that I should be giving more. My wife and I don't give 10% - it's quite a bit less than that. Not that it makes me righteous by any means, but we got into the habit of giving a consistent amount. No percentages or calculations, just a set amount that we write a check for each week. While it's still not up to the common (but no longer required) standard of 10%, our goal is to contribute 10% of any increases we see in income moving forward. Hey, it's a start.
I know that you're supposed to give from your first fruits. I'm happy to give the entire amount from our first paycheck of the month. My wife likes to be able to put something in the offering each week. What do we do? Compromise. We budget our giving from the very beginning, but we give each week as a way to participate in that form of worship.
Even with our meager giving, I always think to the things that I could really do without in my life and my mind wanders to how easy it would be to give up some of those luxuries to give more. That also leads to how my time is spent. Giving up some of the luxuries would also free up time that could be spent volunteering or serving in other capacities. I workout probably 5 - 7 hours a week. How much could I contribute in both time and money if I were to sell my bike and ditch the cycling/running habit?
From the side of me that I'm not so proud of, I often think to the support that I send monthly to a single mom from my former hometown. That's actually 23% of my income if we're going to be counting. It's no secret that I'm divorced and that "donation" is child support.
It's easy to think that I shouldn't have to give to the church when I'm already giving so much off the top, but that's a lie. There are consequences to sin, and child support is one of them. I have a responsibility to provide financially for my children whether the state sets the amount or not. Giving over and above that is where I'm worshiping God, not when I legalistically attempt to rationalize it otherwise.
I'm still left with more questions at this point and I'm sure you may be as well. That's okay - getting answers to those questions and applying them is part of our growth process.
There are three more questions to consider as we work through this text. We'll hit those in the next three days. For now, I'd love to hear what you have to say about this first question! Head over to Facebook and let's chat about it!
Luke 12:13-21 English Standard Version (ESV)
The Parable of the Rich Fool
13 Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
Interested in hearing Pastor Dave Martin's sermon on this text?
Listen online here or download the file.
Monday, October 5, 2015
A Foggy Morning Run
It has been so long, years really, since I last ran naked. Running naked in the endurance world means electronically naked – no music, no phone, no GPS watch, not even the timer on a wristwatch. I take a deep drink of the cool, wet air and prepare my mind to listen to the only indicators I have - my heart and lungs.
As I start down the road, I find a steady cadence and rhythm that I know I can maintain. The path is familiar, but only a few yards are revealed at a time. Normal visual cues are shrouded in the cloud of fog that surrounds me.
Making a turn from the main road, I pass the school as the fog intensifies. It is the creek. The warmth of the water delivers more moisture to the air. I hit the bottom of the hill. How hard should I push? I can't see the top. If I go too hard, I won't have the energy to make it. I work to maintain my cadence and allow my heart to increase to match it. It's uncomfortable, but I can hold it.
How far do I have to go? How far have I gone? How much time has passed? Questions I can't answer, so I put one foot in front of the other and follow the path before me.
Should I pick up my tempo? The weather is still cool and I feel good. I don't know exactly what is ahead of me now or how far I have to go. Are there more hills? Maintain a steady rhythm I tell myself. That will keep me going and leave me prepared for the unexpected.
Suddenly, home breaks through the fog. I'm nearly there. I look back, almost disappointed that the run is over. The fog prevents me from seeing exactly where I've been. I know there were hills and creeks, churches and schools, but they're nothing more than memory now. I walk through the door, greeted by my wife and children. The run was good and I enjoyed it, but it's better to be home.
_________________________________________________________________________________
As I thought while I ran, I couldn't help but consider how similar it was to our journey in this life. God doesn't always show us exactly where we're going. He gives us just enough of the path to stay the course and trust that He knows where it leads. He only asks us to keep pressing on.
Philippians 3: 12 – 14
“12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Like the fog shrouds what's ahead, it also leaves our failures in the past. It doesn't matter what struggles and temptations we fell to, they're nothing more than memories when we're made new in Christ. Yes, they leave scars and wake us up in a panicked sweat in the middle of the night. Those are tools of our adversary attempting to leave us chained to our past. In Christ, we are redeemed and righteous; seen as flawless by God in spite of the claims of our accuser.
2 Corinthians 2:17
“17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Pace becomes an important part of our lives as well. We often throw ourselves into our passions without regard. We burn hot, but burn out quickly. It leaves us exhausted and disappointed. We have to decide what those passions are that deserve our best efforts – our relationship with Christ followed by our spouse and family. This is not a call to spend every waking moment working for the church. That's the church, not your relationship with Christ. The relationship draws closer in the quiet moments when Christ can be intimately close to His chosen bride.
It's also not a call to live without regard to wisdom to keep your spouse happy. There are needs and there are wants. When you love your spouse well, it also has everything to do with the quiet moments. It's the emotional and physical intimacy that comes from being available and vulnerable to the person God gave you. Christ repeatedly uses the example of marriage to talk about His relationship those that belong to Him. It's the closest and most tangible example we have. It's not perfect, but when we're loving each other well, it's a beautiful reminder of Christ and His Church.
The journey is not easy. It takes effort and you'll struggle every step of the way. When you tackle it with the proper perspective, a naked run in the fog is the best you'll ever experience. You'll find that it's more satisfying to trust in the One that put the path before you that all the stuff that tells you how fast you're going, how far you've been, how far you have to go, and attempts to take your mind off the struggle by keeping your mind somewhere else. You'll look back at the memories of a good life, but the homecoming will sweeter than you ever imagined.
Romans 5: 3-5
“...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Monday, September 14, 2015
How Firm is Your Foundation?
When the Supreme Court declared it unconstitutional to deny homosexuals the right to marry, we knew that it was going to be a society altering decision. Since the decision was not unanimous, we also knew that it was far from being a clear cut decision. There was definitely some question left as to whether or not it was actually unconstitutional. Personally, I thought this would play out in the legal system over the course of perhaps years. Then one Clerk of County Courts in Kentucky decided to stand her ground and not give in to signing her name on marriage certificates to homosexual couples. Supporters and opponents of Kim Davis and drew lines in the sand and the issue has become a clear delineation in the beliefs of our country.
With that clear line now drawn between Christians and non-Christians, the exclusivity of Christianity becomes painfully obvious. Christians who believe in the absolute truth of the Bible are called bigots for not tolerating the practices of those who are not Christian in their beliefs. Christians tell non-believers that without being repentant of their sin, of which homosexuality is, that they will not enjoy the benefits of going to heaven. It's one thing for the argument to be as simple as that - however, the debate rages to a point of Christian beliefs being forced on non-Christians against the right of Christians to be able to practice their believes in full without fear of persecution.
Christians are now forced to decide where they stand on their beliefs. Is it right for the Christian to expect that the law protects their religious beliefs to the point where it can deny non-Christians what they want to do? Is it legal for Christian to have to do something against their beliefs in order to perform their job?
I think the debate boils down to the age old question - is there a god? And if there is a god is it the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob spoken of in the Bible?
The answer to these questions are critical. The God of the Bible is unchanging and the truth that is found in the Scripture is absolute. For non-Christians, truth is relative and it changes with the social climate. The answer to those questions does create a dividing line and when it comes to an issue as important as homosexual marriage, it delineates our country and society.
To tell a non-believer that they are not part of God's elect is an incredibly exclusive and incredibly offensive statement. It's a statement that clearly says “you're not good enough” in a society that gives you an award just for showing up. In a society where everyone is treated equally under the law, the idea that we are in fact unequal is extremely repulsive. Yet this truth is repeated in the Bible over and over. The Jews were God's chosen people- His only chosen people. After Christ's death on the cross, salvation was extended to those beyond the Jewish heritage, but is still exclusive to those who believe in Jesus.
The thought process naturally begins to lead to election and predestination. This then leads us to even deeper theological issues and is the reason why we must have such a firm foundation in our faith. Today, our knowledge and understanding of the Bible in general is very weak. It's misinterpreted and misquoted by people everyday, sometimes from the pulpit. It's not malicious (most of the time); it's misunderstanding that has been passed down in flippant phrases that we never bothered to check against what's actually written in the Bible.
In these times that are sure to become more trying everyday, it is our responsibility as Christians to study and be prepared to defend our faith. Our culture and our faith in God are taking two very different directions and there is no guarantee of what the future holds for us. What we can be sure of is that the comfortable relationship we have enjoyed with our society is coming to and end – and we better be very sure of what we believe if we intend to be unshakable.
With that clear line now drawn between Christians and non-Christians, the exclusivity of Christianity becomes painfully obvious. Christians who believe in the absolute truth of the Bible are called bigots for not tolerating the practices of those who are not Christian in their beliefs. Christians tell non-believers that without being repentant of their sin, of which homosexuality is, that they will not enjoy the benefits of going to heaven. It's one thing for the argument to be as simple as that - however, the debate rages to a point of Christian beliefs being forced on non-Christians against the right of Christians to be able to practice their believes in full without fear of persecution.
Christians are now forced to decide where they stand on their beliefs. Is it right for the Christian to expect that the law protects their religious beliefs to the point where it can deny non-Christians what they want to do? Is it legal for Christian to have to do something against their beliefs in order to perform their job?
I think the debate boils down to the age old question - is there a god? And if there is a god is it the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob spoken of in the Bible?
The answer to these questions are critical. The God of the Bible is unchanging and the truth that is found in the Scripture is absolute. For non-Christians, truth is relative and it changes with the social climate. The answer to those questions does create a dividing line and when it comes to an issue as important as homosexual marriage, it delineates our country and society.
To tell a non-believer that they are not part of God's elect is an incredibly exclusive and incredibly offensive statement. It's a statement that clearly says “you're not good enough” in a society that gives you an award just for showing up. In a society where everyone is treated equally under the law, the idea that we are in fact unequal is extremely repulsive. Yet this truth is repeated in the Bible over and over. The Jews were God's chosen people- His only chosen people. After Christ's death on the cross, salvation was extended to those beyond the Jewish heritage, but is still exclusive to those who believe in Jesus.
The thought process naturally begins to lead to election and predestination. This then leads us to even deeper theological issues and is the reason why we must have such a firm foundation in our faith. Today, our knowledge and understanding of the Bible in general is very weak. It's misinterpreted and misquoted by people everyday, sometimes from the pulpit. It's not malicious (most of the time); it's misunderstanding that has been passed down in flippant phrases that we never bothered to check against what's actually written in the Bible.
In these times that are sure to become more trying everyday, it is our responsibility as Christians to study and be prepared to defend our faith. Our culture and our faith in God are taking two very different directions and there is no guarantee of what the future holds for us. What we can be sure of is that the comfortable relationship we have enjoyed with our society is coming to and end – and we better be very sure of what we believe if we intend to be unshakable.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Making Your Children Uncomfortable
For the sake of being a better father and husband than I was in the past, I am committed to giving up the triathlon lifestyle - particularly the ridiculous hours I spent training for Ironman. That doesn't mean I've given up being active though. I want to set a good example for my kids so they know eating healthy and staying fit is a choice they can make. I also want to look good and take care of myself for my Bride.
This weekend, both my daughter and son decided that they wanted to run with me. So I put together a miniature version of a good overall workout that I do on occasion. Same warm up, drills, stretches, main set, and cool down, just shorter distances. Admittedly, I was concerned about my daughter joining us. There's often sibling rivalry at play. The bigger issue is that she often thinks something sounds good and healthy so she wants to do it... until she actually gets into it.
This was the case today. That beautiful daughter of mine was already huffing and puffing hard during the warm up despite my efforts to get her to take it easier. We weren't out of the parking lot before she started complaining about a bruise that she "forgot" she had. Less than a 1/4 of the way into the 1 mile run, she was ready to be done and started complaining, fake crying, and breathing as shallow as she could. Her exaggeration of all of it made me think that she'd be a good professional soccer player.
I wouldn't let her stop.
She didn't like that.
Rather than argue with her, I started asking her about what she was excited about for the upcoming school year. We talked about books that she enjoyed and the next ones that she wanted to read. Before you know it, we were at the halfway point where I let her take a breather before we headed back. Just a few steps after that break, she started right back into the exaggerated excuses that she couldn't go on. I tried to keep her talking, but it wasn't as easy now.
I told her that I wasn't going to let her quit. At one point, I was even pushing her with a hand to keep her moving forward and tried to get her focused on the finish line. We made it to the end. Both legs were still attached and she was just fine.
Afterward, we unpacked what had taken place. I explained to her about the improvements in performance she would get by running through the point of being a little uncomfortable. We talked about how running can make other things that she enjoys, like dance, better because of her fitness level. We also talked through how important persevering is in school and in life.
Just like us, kids don't want to be uncomfortable. As Christians and parents, it's our job to teach them that when we work through struggles, we're growing. Sometimes, being uncomfortable is the intentionality with which we work on some aspect of our lives, like training to stay fit or going for the smoothie when you'd really like a doughnut. Other times, it's the way we work through circumstances and hardships.
Regardless of why we're uncomfortable, it's important to teach our children that we really do grow stronger when persevere through it. The part that's tough for every parent is allowing your children to be uncomfortable without letting them give up. Our nature is to swoop in and make it all better. However, it's more loving to allow them to grow stronger and more mature. We need to let them know that we're still right there with them, but we're not going to let them give up when things get uncomfortable.
The generation of kids growing up now is so used to immediate gratification and the "everyone gets a medal for showing up" mentality that perseverance is falling to the wayside. On the other hand, life as a Christian is getting more uncomfortable as our beliefs fall under greater attack. As we train our children and show them what it means to be a grown up, are we teaching them to seek comfort or to persevere?
As the absolute truth of Scripture falls under fire more and more, it is critical that we have perseverance to stand by the truth in spite of what the world says and does. For the child who grew up knowing little else but comfort, they'll conform. The child that was allowed to grow through the struggles will have the perseverance it takes to stand firm under fire.
This weekend, both my daughter and son decided that they wanted to run with me. So I put together a miniature version of a good overall workout that I do on occasion. Same warm up, drills, stretches, main set, and cool down, just shorter distances. Admittedly, I was concerned about my daughter joining us. There's often sibling rivalry at play. The bigger issue is that she often thinks something sounds good and healthy so she wants to do it... until she actually gets into it.
This was the case today. That beautiful daughter of mine was already huffing and puffing hard during the warm up despite my efforts to get her to take it easier. We weren't out of the parking lot before she started complaining about a bruise that she "forgot" she had. Less than a 1/4 of the way into the 1 mile run, she was ready to be done and started complaining, fake crying, and breathing as shallow as she could. Her exaggeration of all of it made me think that she'd be a good professional soccer player.
I wouldn't let her stop.
She didn't like that.
Rather than argue with her, I started asking her about what she was excited about for the upcoming school year. We talked about books that she enjoyed and the next ones that she wanted to read. Before you know it, we were at the halfway point where I let her take a breather before we headed back. Just a few steps after that break, she started right back into the exaggerated excuses that she couldn't go on. I tried to keep her talking, but it wasn't as easy now.
I told her that I wasn't going to let her quit. At one point, I was even pushing her with a hand to keep her moving forward and tried to get her focused on the finish line. We made it to the end. Both legs were still attached and she was just fine.
Afterward, we unpacked what had taken place. I explained to her about the improvements in performance she would get by running through the point of being a little uncomfortable. We talked about how running can make other things that she enjoys, like dance, better because of her fitness level. We also talked through how important persevering is in school and in life.
Romans 5:3-5
3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Just like us, kids don't want to be uncomfortable. As Christians and parents, it's our job to teach them that when we work through struggles, we're growing. Sometimes, being uncomfortable is the intentionality with which we work on some aspect of our lives, like training to stay fit or going for the smoothie when you'd really like a doughnut. Other times, it's the way we work through circumstances and hardships.
Regardless of why we're uncomfortable, it's important to teach our children that we really do grow stronger when persevere through it. The part that's tough for every parent is allowing your children to be uncomfortable without letting them give up. Our nature is to swoop in and make it all better. However, it's more loving to allow them to grow stronger and more mature. We need to let them know that we're still right there with them, but we're not going to let them give up when things get uncomfortable.
The generation of kids growing up now is so used to immediate gratification and the "everyone gets a medal for showing up" mentality that perseverance is falling to the wayside. On the other hand, life as a Christian is getting more uncomfortable as our beliefs fall under greater attack. As we train our children and show them what it means to be a grown up, are we teaching them to seek comfort or to persevere?
As the absolute truth of Scripture falls under fire more and more, it is critical that we have perseverance to stand by the truth in spite of what the world says and does. For the child who grew up knowing little else but comfort, they'll conform. The child that was allowed to grow through the struggles will have the perseverance it takes to stand firm under fire.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Homosexual Marriage: Why Are Christians Just Now Getting Upset About Non-Christian Marriage?
I realize that this is just one of thousands of blog posts and articles that will be coming out talking about the Supreme Court's decision to legalize homosexual marriage nationwide. There have been outcries and disappointment along with reminders of love and grace from the Christian community. There does seem to be something missing in our response. I'd like to offer this perspective of truth from Scripture and how I have been led to interpret it.
In the Old Testament, the Israelites were warned against marrying into other cultures. Men were forbidden from taking wives of other nations and they were forbidden from giving their daughters to men of other nations for their wives. When they disobeyed, God punished the Israelite nation.
In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul tells us "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV) No longer a warning against marrying those from another nation, the focus is squarely placed on those who are non-believers in Christ.
Both of these fall back on the same tangible consequence - Evangemarriage doesn't work. A spouse that does not belong to Christ is going to be more effective at tempting you into a worldly lifestyle or bringing in elements of another religion than you will be in converting him/her. It's the very reason that the first question most Christian parents ask of a new boyfriend/girlfriend is if they belong to Christ.
Okay, it's time for a history lesson. In the Old Testament, we don't see that the Israelites condemned the marriages of those people who were not of their nation. Yet, since those people were not set apart by God at that time, it was not possible for their marriages to bound in Covenant with God.
Fast forward to the New Testament. The issue is the same. No one is condemning the marriages of those that are non-believers. Check out what Paul and Silas told their jailer: "Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”" (Acts 16: 30-31, ESV).
You see, the issue was not that their marriage was outside of God's covenant. The issue was that they were sinners who were not yet saved! The much more important issue was the state of their hearts. Only when they were willing to accept Jesus for who He was and the Spirit entered them could they actually begin to have the heart change that comes with true conversion. Only then could the Spirit fight against their sinful nature and ensure that it wasn't just a show. Only then could instruction in the truth begin with an expectation of repentance.
The only place that we see the marriage relationship insight an issue among the Christian forefathers is when it is between a Christian and a non-Christian (or Israelite and non-Israelite prior to Christ). The Christian community has never had an outspoken issue with marriage outside those who believe until now - when homosexuals are allowed to marry.
I am now moving from what is in the Bible to the interpretation I have been led to and opinion based on what I have seen. I'm not a theologian and I've never been to seminary. I'm just a sinner saved by grace trying to understand what's going on and what it means to us as Christians.
Our country was founded by God fearing men based on the principles of freedom and the beliefs held by Christian men. For a long time, we have enjoyed a political environment that more or less lined up with our beliefs, at least on the big issues. We came to believe that our nation was a Christian nation. After all, it says "In God We Trust" on our money (at the moment, anyway).
What we forgot was that the United States of America is not an extension of the Christian Church. There is no requirement to be a man or woman of Christian beliefs to run it and you are free to hold whatever religious beliefs you want to. As Christians believing that this country belonged to us, we take personal offense when decisions are made against our beliefs. Now that the country is largely led by people who do not line up with Christian beliefs, it should be no surprise that laws are being passed contrary to what we know to be true.
We weren't upset when two non-Christians got married because it looked like what we expected marriage to be... even though it wasn't. We got comfortable with allowing superficial appearances to give us an excuse to look the other way. Now we can't since this kind of relationship is expressly forbidden in the Bible. But is it any more or less sinful?
Remember, in this life there are two sets of standards. One based on the absolute truth found in Scripture. The other based on the relativism and current sociological climate. We will all be held to the same standard when we meet God, but only Christians realize it. Since our non-believing countrymen don't know or understand that, we can't expect them to behave in the same way that we would.
Now, more than ever, it's obvious that our own country is a mission field. Millions of people are being led astray by politicians, media, social media, and their own misguided ideas. We need to live what we preach. We need to be willing to have tough conversations and back up what we believe with the truth found in Scripture. We need to be prepared to do that lovingly, gently, and patiently.
When we realize that God's people have never been in an outrage over a non-believing, heterosexual couple's right and desire to marry, we need to keep it in context. There has always been a difference between a marriage between two non-believers and the Covenant Marriage between Christians. We just haven't been up in arms about it. Homosexual marriage is no different - it is a union that is civil only, not endorsed by or in covenant with God.
Our response should not be one of uproar. Sure we're disappointed, but these are still just sinners that need to hear the truth of God's word and be given the opportunity to accept or reject the saving grace of Jesus Christ. They will be held responsible for their response to the call and knowledge.
Where we respond in a way that is different from viewing people as needing to be reached in the mission field is when one or both claim Christ. If they have made the choice to following Jesus, then they are held to the same standard that we hold every other Christian to. At that point, it is our responsibility as their brothers and sisters to instruct them lovingly in Scripture and support them through their struggles. If they refuse to accept that their relationship is sinful, we have instruction on how to deal with that in the Bible as well.
Keep in mind that this does not in any way change how God defines marriage. 5 men in black robes can not tell God what marriage is or isn't. This is not a defeat and it does not damage what a Covenant Marriage is, it only delineates it further and this could be good for the Christian church. It's past time that we are outspoken about what Covenant Marriage is and what civil marriage is.
A group of pastors in Texas has come up with a simple and brilliant solution for the Christian church to respond. They will no longer act as agents of the state in performing a marriage. Instead, the ceremonies that they perform will be to certify a Covenant Marriage between the couple and God. The official paperwork certifying the civil marriage will be taken care of by the couple and signed by a notary instead. In this way, the church can give its official approval on God honoring marriages and take themselves out of the position of performing marriages for the state.
Read more about that here.
Who knew that this Presbyterian could be in agreement with a group of Southern Baptists?
I would advise caution to all of my Christian brothers and sisters out there. Not out of fear, but out of love. Allow the emotion of disappointment, fear, or anger to take it's course before prayerfully considering how you can respond in love and by the will of Jesus Christ. He would not hate these people, He would be moved to compassion for them. Compassion doesn't excuse the sin or change the condition of their hearts, but it does motivate us to ensure that our response has the chance to bring them into a real relationship with Christ.
In the Old Testament, the Israelites were warned against marrying into other cultures. Men were forbidden from taking wives of other nations and they were forbidden from giving their daughters to men of other nations for their wives. When they disobeyed, God punished the Israelite nation.
In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul tells us "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV) No longer a warning against marrying those from another nation, the focus is squarely placed on those who are non-believers in Christ.
Both of these fall back on the same tangible consequence - Evangemarriage doesn't work. A spouse that does not belong to Christ is going to be more effective at tempting you into a worldly lifestyle or bringing in elements of another religion than you will be in converting him/her. It's the very reason that the first question most Christian parents ask of a new boyfriend/girlfriend is if they belong to Christ.
Okay, it's time for a history lesson. In the Old Testament, we don't see that the Israelites condemned the marriages of those people who were not of their nation. Yet, since those people were not set apart by God at that time, it was not possible for their marriages to bound in Covenant with God.
Fast forward to the New Testament. The issue is the same. No one is condemning the marriages of those that are non-believers. Check out what Paul and Silas told their jailer: "Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”" (Acts 16: 30-31, ESV).
You see, the issue was not that their marriage was outside of God's covenant. The issue was that they were sinners who were not yet saved! The much more important issue was the state of their hearts. Only when they were willing to accept Jesus for who He was and the Spirit entered them could they actually begin to have the heart change that comes with true conversion. Only then could the Spirit fight against their sinful nature and ensure that it wasn't just a show. Only then could instruction in the truth begin with an expectation of repentance.
The only place that we see the marriage relationship insight an issue among the Christian forefathers is when it is between a Christian and a non-Christian (or Israelite and non-Israelite prior to Christ). The Christian community has never had an outspoken issue with marriage outside those who believe until now - when homosexuals are allowed to marry.
Why Is Homosexual Marriage So Upsetting?
I am now moving from what is in the Bible to the interpretation I have been led to and opinion based on what I have seen. I'm not a theologian and I've never been to seminary. I'm just a sinner saved by grace trying to understand what's going on and what it means to us as Christians.
Our country was founded by God fearing men based on the principles of freedom and the beliefs held by Christian men. For a long time, we have enjoyed a political environment that more or less lined up with our beliefs, at least on the big issues. We came to believe that our nation was a Christian nation. After all, it says "In God We Trust" on our money (at the moment, anyway).
What we forgot was that the United States of America is not an extension of the Christian Church. There is no requirement to be a man or woman of Christian beliefs to run it and you are free to hold whatever religious beliefs you want to. As Christians believing that this country belonged to us, we take personal offense when decisions are made against our beliefs. Now that the country is largely led by people who do not line up with Christian beliefs, it should be no surprise that laws are being passed contrary to what we know to be true.
We weren't upset when two non-Christians got married because it looked like what we expected marriage to be... even though it wasn't. We got comfortable with allowing superficial appearances to give us an excuse to look the other way. Now we can't since this kind of relationship is expressly forbidden in the Bible. But is it any more or less sinful?
What Do We Do?
Remember, in this life there are two sets of standards. One based on the absolute truth found in Scripture. The other based on the relativism and current sociological climate. We will all be held to the same standard when we meet God, but only Christians realize it. Since our non-believing countrymen don't know or understand that, we can't expect them to behave in the same way that we would.
Now, more than ever, it's obvious that our own country is a mission field. Millions of people are being led astray by politicians, media, social media, and their own misguided ideas. We need to live what we preach. We need to be willing to have tough conversations and back up what we believe with the truth found in Scripture. We need to be prepared to do that lovingly, gently, and patiently.
When we realize that God's people have never been in an outrage over a non-believing, heterosexual couple's right and desire to marry, we need to keep it in context. There has always been a difference between a marriage between two non-believers and the Covenant Marriage between Christians. We just haven't been up in arms about it. Homosexual marriage is no different - it is a union that is civil only, not endorsed by or in covenant with God.
Our response should not be one of uproar. Sure we're disappointed, but these are still just sinners that need to hear the truth of God's word and be given the opportunity to accept or reject the saving grace of Jesus Christ. They will be held responsible for their response to the call and knowledge.
Where we respond in a way that is different from viewing people as needing to be reached in the mission field is when one or both claim Christ. If they have made the choice to following Jesus, then they are held to the same standard that we hold every other Christian to. At that point, it is our responsibility as their brothers and sisters to instruct them lovingly in Scripture and support them through their struggles. If they refuse to accept that their relationship is sinful, we have instruction on how to deal with that in the Bible as well.
A Better Solution Than Politics
Keep in mind that this does not in any way change how God defines marriage. 5 men in black robes can not tell God what marriage is or isn't. This is not a defeat and it does not damage what a Covenant Marriage is, it only delineates it further and this could be good for the Christian church. It's past time that we are outspoken about what Covenant Marriage is and what civil marriage is.
A group of pastors in Texas has come up with a simple and brilliant solution for the Christian church to respond. They will no longer act as agents of the state in performing a marriage. Instead, the ceremonies that they perform will be to certify a Covenant Marriage between the couple and God. The official paperwork certifying the civil marriage will be taken care of by the couple and signed by a notary instead. In this way, the church can give its official approval on God honoring marriages and take themselves out of the position of performing marriages for the state.
Read more about that here.
Who knew that this Presbyterian could be in agreement with a group of Southern Baptists?
I would advise caution to all of my Christian brothers and sisters out there. Not out of fear, but out of love. Allow the emotion of disappointment, fear, or anger to take it's course before prayerfully considering how you can respond in love and by the will of Jesus Christ. He would not hate these people, He would be moved to compassion for them. Compassion doesn't excuse the sin or change the condition of their hearts, but it does motivate us to ensure that our response has the chance to bring them into a real relationship with Christ.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Genuine Good Humor and the Tenderness of a Woman's Heart
- Trevi Fountain Restoration Fund
- "We Support Socialism" Campaign
- English Speaking Tax
- Ignorant Tourist Tax
- Breathing Italian Air Bill
- American Arrogance Fine
Confused yet?
These are just a few of the reasons that we came up with to tell people why we spent an extra 100 Euros on our train back to the airport on our honeymoon. The real reason? We had the wrong tickets for the train we were on and the fine was 100 Euros (~ $110) plus the cost of the tickets. We tried to explain that the ticket agent we bought the tickets from assured us that it was good for the train to airport, but there's no room for excuses in their system.
And it was an excuse. We knew we were on the wrong train and we knew our tickets weren't good for that class. They were good for a train to the airport - just for the commuter, not the express We also knew that we hadn't been checked on all the other trains we had been on and decided to risk it.
My beautiful new bride was a upset. She felt like it was her fault. She also knows that I deal with stressful situations by making a joke, so she wasn't sure if I was upset with her or not when I started making this list. She was vulnerable and hanging by a thread wondering if her new husband was already mad at her.
Fortunately, I really wasn't mad. It was a learning experience. It was also an experience we hadn't had together before and she needed to be reassured that everything, especially the two of us, were okay. She did become convinced as adding to this list has become a running joke that makes us genuinely laugh.
This gives us a glimpse into the heart of a woman. That beautiful new bride of mine is so tender and loving and my approval of her is critical to her emotional well being. A woman doesn't become hard and numb to her husband overnight. It's in these moments where she's vulnerable and not sure what you think of her that she looks to you to decide if she is going to run into your arms or lay the next brick in her wall.
None of us are going to get it right every time. But this is the woman that you prayed about. You asked her Dad for the right to marry her. You asked her for her heart and promised to love her for the rest of your lives. You can overcome a little turbulence on this journey.
Yeah, our mistake cost us $110. But you know what? An hour with a good counselor would have cost that much as well. The assurance that she received when she knew I had genuine good humor about the situation was worth it. Life throws us curve balls and sometimes we swing and miss. But try to keep your wits about you and find the humor in the situation. Show your Lady that you approve of her and love her. You'll hit that one out of the park.
Saturday, May 16, 2015
It's My Wedding Day... and I'm Not Marrying the Girl of My Dreams
As I wake up earlier than I'd really
like to and the tasks of the day begin to form a checklist in my
mind, I think back to the incredible series of events that lead to
this day. It's certainly not a fairy tale and it hasn't been anywhere
close to easy. It's my wedding day, and I'm not marrying the girl of
my dreams.
Working in a local coffee shop, my
coworkers and I joked about the kind of girl I was looking for. After
all, coffee shops are popular places and all manner of men and women
come through every day. The running joke finally became that I was
looking for a Spanish girl named Margarita that could make a good
one.
What ran through my head wasn't all
that different. It really wasn't about sipping margaritas and eating
pork tamales. It was about a physical look that I liked, a culture I
admired (mostly for the food!), and the opposite of my ex-wife.
She was my dream girl. Every day I
worked in that coffee shop, I wondered if she actually existed and
when she would walk through that door.
Then I met the woman who is becoming my
bride today. I met her at church, not the coffee shop. She didn't meet any of the requirements for being my
dream girl. Actually, I didn't meet the requirements on her list
either. I'm divorced, have two kids, and no master's degree. Yet
somehow, God brought the two of us together.
We both have histories that we'd like
to put behind us. On our very first date, we laid out all of the
worst our closets had been hiding and held our breath...
What we found was acceptance from each
other. It wasn't what had been done. It was the work of Christ in our
lives and the story of grace that He was writing. The Spirit allowed
us to see the work and the change that Christ had done in our lives.
By allowing us to see with eyes of grace, we could see the stunning
beauty that was there. It was Christ in me recognizing Christ in her
- two people led by the same Spirit redeemed to the same
righteousness.
The acceptance that we found with each
other is a tangible reminder of the acceptance we find in Christ. No,
our love isn't perfect. It did create a swell of gratitude and attraction
though. Christ's perfect pursuit and acceptance of us creates those
same emotions of gratitude and draws us closer to Him the more we
realize just how much His grace covers in us.
I'm not marrying the girl of my dreams
today. My dreams were far too shallow. I have the privilege and the
honor of marrying a women who is stunningly beautiful because of
Christ living in her. I have the privilege and honor of marrying
into a family that loves Jesus and sees me through eyes of grace.
In about 6 hours, my fiancee' trades
her title in for Wife, and I trade mine in for Husband. She is more than
I'd hoped for, more than I dreamed of, and so much more than I
deserve. It is my prayer that I can live up to the high calling of
being her husband by the grace of God, a focused gaze on Christ, and
guidance through the Spirit. God did not bring us this far to end the
story here and keep it to ourselves. He has more in store and it is
our privilege to honor Him by being the willing instruments to share
the testimony of His love, faithfulness, grace, and mercy.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Hot Button Issue: Homosexual Marriage
I can't remember the last time I listened to the radio and didn't hear something about homosexual marriage. It's a huge hot button issue in our society. On one hand, Christians claim that homosexuality is sinful, and therefore homosexual marriage should not be legalized. On the other hand, LGBT apologists say that Christians are outdated and bigoted, and that people should be able to marry whomever they fall in love with. That's just the basics, just the tip of the iceberg.
The issue is so prevalent that I think it's worth having a conversation about. Not just between you and me, but with your spouse and your family. With your kids. This is a confusing age to live in as Christians, and it's important for you and your spouse to be united and to teach your kids.
As I've said before, I'm no Biblical expert or theological superman, I'm just sharing my thoughts and what I believe from what I know from Scripture.
Let's start off with what I believe the Scripture tells us.
In Genesis, we see God's design for marriage: one man with one women. Before even going into homosexual marriage, I had to wonder how the Old Testament champion, King David, could have been blessed since he was in a polygamous marriage, which is outside the marriage God designed. After all, if He can bless a polygamous marriage, He can also bless a homosexual one - both are specifically sinful.
David's actions didn't come without consequences. God told David that the sword would never depart his house thanks to his desire for Bathsheba. (2 Samuel 12:10) There are examples in Solomon's and Abraham's lives as well. Paul mentions them as examples later in I Corinthians 10. So since we can see that God considers polygamous marriages as sinful and there are consequences for them, we can assume the same about homosexual marriage since it is also specifically stated as being sinful.
Yes, these are Old Testament examples. Yes, Jesus' sacrifice freed us from the law by offering us salvation, but He did not give us license to sin as we like. We are still to repent and turn away from that sin. In fact, if I know that something I am doing is sinful, yet I do it anyway without any guilt or shame, it's a pretty good diagnostic tool that the Spirit is not at work in my life, and that I am not truly a Christian. It's one thing to sin and have the Spirit convict you that it's wrong. It's another to do so and not see any problem with it.
Having offered a Scriptural foundation for my belief that homosexual marriage is sinful, let me offer a prediction and attempt to set you free from some anxiety and anger.
I think homosexual marriage is coming to America as a federal mandate at some point. Whether all 50 states agree to it or Congress makes the decision for them, I think it's coming. I will still vote against politicians who will vote for it, but I am not naive enough to think that the momentum it has gained will be stopped, save for God intervening. Don't be afraid to pray for that intervention, by the way. This, nor anything else, is not too big for Him to handle.
Secondly, as Christians, remember that non-believers are not held to the same standard that we are. They are not set apart and saved (yet, for some). Because of that, they really don't see a problem "following their hearts" and doing as they please within the guidelines of the law of our society. To hold them to our standards on this isn't much different than holding them to the same standards of any of our beliefs: it's going to be an exercise in frustration.
Where I do see a problem and take offense is when a homosexual couple decides to get married and demands a pastor and a church, somehow expecting that God is required to bless their marriage. There's no question here - homosexual marriage is outside God's design and is not a covenant union with Him by His standards, just like polygamous marriages weren't and aren't.
One more thing, just like us, the person that has chosen a homosexual lifestyle but is truly seeking Christ will be shown their sin. It's not our place to choose the timing of that. If God showed me all of my sin at once, I doubt I could live with myself. Instead, He loves us gently, and reveals what He is working on in us in a way that we have to rely on Him for forgiveness as well as the strength and endurance to overcome it, but that at the same time, we can find joy in the success He brings to us.
God doesn't hate homosexuals, He loves them as deeply as He loves us. He doesn't have to dive any deeper into hell for them than He did for us. If we as Christians truly believe in the healing power of Christ, then remember our battle is against the sin but for the sinner. Don't sugar coat the truth, but remember to love kindly, gently, and patiently the way we are taught in I Corinthians 13.
The issue is so prevalent that I think it's worth having a conversation about. Not just between you and me, but with your spouse and your family. With your kids. This is a confusing age to live in as Christians, and it's important for you and your spouse to be united and to teach your kids.
As I've said before, I'm no Biblical expert or theological superman, I'm just sharing my thoughts and what I believe from what I know from Scripture.
Let's start off with what I believe the Scripture tells us.
In Genesis, we see God's design for marriage: one man with one women. Before even going into homosexual marriage, I had to wonder how the Old Testament champion, King David, could have been blessed since he was in a polygamous marriage, which is outside the marriage God designed. After all, if He can bless a polygamous marriage, He can also bless a homosexual one - both are specifically sinful.
David's actions didn't come without consequences. God told David that the sword would never depart his house thanks to his desire for Bathsheba. (2 Samuel 12:10) There are examples in Solomon's and Abraham's lives as well. Paul mentions them as examples later in I Corinthians 10. So since we can see that God considers polygamous marriages as sinful and there are consequences for them, we can assume the same about homosexual marriage since it is also specifically stated as being sinful.
Yes, these are Old Testament examples. Yes, Jesus' sacrifice freed us from the law by offering us salvation, but He did not give us license to sin as we like. We are still to repent and turn away from that sin. In fact, if I know that something I am doing is sinful, yet I do it anyway without any guilt or shame, it's a pretty good diagnostic tool that the Spirit is not at work in my life, and that I am not truly a Christian. It's one thing to sin and have the Spirit convict you that it's wrong. It's another to do so and not see any problem with it.
Having offered a Scriptural foundation for my belief that homosexual marriage is sinful, let me offer a prediction and attempt to set you free from some anxiety and anger.
I think homosexual marriage is coming to America as a federal mandate at some point. Whether all 50 states agree to it or Congress makes the decision for them, I think it's coming. I will still vote against politicians who will vote for it, but I am not naive enough to think that the momentum it has gained will be stopped, save for God intervening. Don't be afraid to pray for that intervention, by the way. This, nor anything else, is not too big for Him to handle.
Secondly, as Christians, remember that non-believers are not held to the same standard that we are. They are not set apart and saved (yet, for some). Because of that, they really don't see a problem "following their hearts" and doing as they please within the guidelines of the law of our society. To hold them to our standards on this isn't much different than holding them to the same standards of any of our beliefs: it's going to be an exercise in frustration.
Where I do see a problem and take offense is when a homosexual couple decides to get married and demands a pastor and a church, somehow expecting that God is required to bless their marriage. There's no question here - homosexual marriage is outside God's design and is not a covenant union with Him by His standards, just like polygamous marriages weren't and aren't.
One more thing, just like us, the person that has chosen a homosexual lifestyle but is truly seeking Christ will be shown their sin. It's not our place to choose the timing of that. If God showed me all of my sin at once, I doubt I could live with myself. Instead, He loves us gently, and reveals what He is working on in us in a way that we have to rely on Him for forgiveness as well as the strength and endurance to overcome it, but that at the same time, we can find joy in the success He brings to us.
God doesn't hate homosexuals, He loves them as deeply as He loves us. He doesn't have to dive any deeper into hell for them than He did for us. If we as Christians truly believe in the healing power of Christ, then remember our battle is against the sin but for the sinner. Don't sugar coat the truth, but remember to love kindly, gently, and patiently the way we are taught in I Corinthians 13.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Reasons to Leave the Church or Not Leave the Church
I read a blog post this week that offered bad reasons (excuses really) to leave your church. It was followed up with good reasons to leave your church. The bad reasons (music, hurt feelings, and something newer/better) were contrasted to the good reasons (abusive leadership, unbiblical practices, and differing convictions).
The opening line read something along the lines of, "Stop treating the church like your high school girlfriend and start treating it like the bride of Christ."
Oh boy... here we go. Convicting or accusing? Truth or religion? Worth considering or toss it aside?
First of all, this is only my opinion and response based on my perspective. Yours will likely be different since your experience is different. The important thing is to take the time to really think about what this means for you and your family so that you can decide for yourself how to view this important issue.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Thou shalt join thy local body (or the body of thy parents in thine hometown) where thou shalt remain until the Lord calleth thee to a town at least an hour's drive by horseless carriage from the body to which thou belongest."
Let's lay this out sermon style with 3 main points (but trust me, I can come up with several more).
Ephesians 5:21 - 33 describes much of the correlation between husbands & wives and Christ & his Church. Those of us that belong to Christ are His Bride, and collectively we the Church are His Bride. So the author may have a valid point by saying that you shouldn't leave a body of believers like you would a high school girlfriend since you are effectively treating His Church (His Bride) that way.
Where that argument breaks down for me is in how the author defines the Bride. The Church isn't just your church. It's the collective body of believers in Christ that He has set apart as His Bride. That means there are people that attend your church that wouldn't be considered to be part of the Church. I'm sure you can think of someone that attends, but is only playing Christian or is there because of expectations.
The argument is that by leaving the church for something other than the defined "good reasons," you're rejecting the Bride of Christ.
My counter argument is that if you're leaving one church to attend or join another, you aren't leaving the Church (collective body and Bride of Christ), you're choosing to worship with another body within the larger body that is still very much His, as you are still very much His.
Have you found your soul mate?
If you answered yes, you're sadly mistaken. The concept of the soul mate, the one and only other person that could complete me, is a Greek idea that is completely false. There's no such thing. The reality is that there are plenty of people of the opposite sex that would make a good spouse for you. It takes work and it takes the decision to love them. Sure, by the grace of God, you could choose to love anyone. But there are people out there that are more in line with you than others and are therefore easier to love and make life more enjoyable.
Our author intimates that we should love our church body for better or for worse. But there's a problem with his argument here as well. It would make no sense whatsoever for you to marry the first person you ever went on a date with. It takes time (and at least a little heartache) to know the kind of person that you would want to choose as your spouse.
It's the same with the church. It would be foolish to say that the first church you ever walk into is the perfect church for you for life and that there will never be another. You need to know what kind of worship style you can engage in. You need to know what your spiritual needs are and that they can be met. You need to know how you can serve the Church and that there is an opportunity for you to do that with the gifts you have been given. You need to make mistakes in order to learn what is right for you and to know what it means to feel Christ calling you a certain direction.
Sometimes, you've been on one date when you know that it isn't right. Sometimes it takes months or years to figure it out. Sometimes, the engagement is broken off when the wedding has been planned. Just because you've been attending a church for a couple of years or you grew up there doesn't mean that you are committed for life. You should still be free to explore other churches where you can grow closer in your walk with Christ.
There are 5 vows that you take when you join a PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) body. "Till death do us part" is not uttered in any of them. People understand that sometimes life takes you away from your chosen church. It's not a divorce; it's a relocation. So why does it feel so controversial when life changes inspire you to change church bodies across town as opposed to cross state or cross country?
Look, you're (hopefully) constantly growing in Christ. You're constantly growing in your ability to use your gifts for Him. Even your worship becomes more mature. The point is, your needs are constantly changing.
I've had the pleasure of having my children with me this week for their Spring break. Because of the Parenting Plan in place, we stay with my parents when the kids are with me. I've tried really hard this week to be a good Dad, a good Son, a good Fiance', and a good employee... and I haven't done so well.
Ever try to be everything for everyone? It doesn't work out very well most of the time. Your church is no different. It can't be everything that everyone needs all the time. To avoid stagnating and backsliding, you will need to find a way to continue your growth. Sometimes that means that your church can't meet your needs during that season and it's time to move on.
Changing churches isn't a rejection of the Church. It doesn't have to be a rejection of your church. It should be an extension of your passionate pursuit of Christ. Whether it's your need for personal growth, better utilizing your spiritual gifts for Christ's gain, or even to be more in tune with your worship of Christ, there will be changes in venue from time to time.
Yes, the Church is made of sinners just like you and me. No, none of them will ever do everything perfectly. No, you don't have to pretend to be perfect. Sometimes, there's something you can't get past on prayer and will alone and the only way to get back in tune with your Savior is to leave that body for a season or permanently. You're not saying that what they are doing is bad. You're not saying that they aren't doing a great job for the other people there (because most likely, they are). You're just saying that you as one person or as a family need something different than they offer and are perhaps offering something different than they need.
Having said all of that, when you do make the choice to join a church body, it should not be taken lightly. You should be asking a lot of questions and really getting to know the leadership and the body. Although membership isn't on the same commitment level as marriage, it is a serious commitment. Even when you're plugged in and things are going great, I would still encourage you to take your time and really get to know the body you wish to belong to.
Once you've made that commitment, you should do what you can to work through issues that come up. Don't assume, though, that you grow and mature at the same rate as your church does. There is an effort required to maintain any kind of relationship, including with the church. If you get to a point where the church is unwilling or unable to help you grow, help you make use of your spiritual gifts (not just plug you into something and call it service), or you are unable to engage in worship, then you should consider that it may be time to move on. We are not all called to walk the same path and the responsibility of walking the path set before us is ours, not our church's.
The opening line read something along the lines of, "Stop treating the church like your high school girlfriend and start treating it like the bride of Christ."
Oh boy... here we go. Convicting or accusing? Truth or religion? Worth considering or toss it aside?
First of all, this is only my opinion and response based on my perspective. Yours will likely be different since your experience is different. The important thing is to take the time to really think about what this means for you and your family so that you can decide for yourself how to view this important issue.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say, "Thou shalt join thy local body (or the body of thy parents in thine hometown) where thou shalt remain until the Lord calleth thee to a town at least an hour's drive by horseless carriage from the body to which thou belongest."
Let's lay this out sermon style with 3 main points (but trust me, I can come up with several more).
1. The Church is the Bride of Christ
Ephesians 5:21 - 33 describes much of the correlation between husbands & wives and Christ & his Church. Those of us that belong to Christ are His Bride, and collectively we the Church are His Bride. So the author may have a valid point by saying that you shouldn't leave a body of believers like you would a high school girlfriend since you are effectively treating His Church (His Bride) that way.
Where that argument breaks down for me is in how the author defines the Bride. The Church isn't just your church. It's the collective body of believers in Christ that He has set apart as His Bride. That means there are people that attend your church that wouldn't be considered to be part of the Church. I'm sure you can think of someone that attends, but is only playing Christian or is there because of expectations.
The argument is that by leaving the church for something other than the defined "good reasons," you're rejecting the Bride of Christ.
My counter argument is that if you're leaving one church to attend or join another, you aren't leaving the Church (collective body and Bride of Christ), you're choosing to worship with another body within the larger body that is still very much His, as you are still very much His.
2. The Marriage Commitment
Have you found your soul mate?
If you answered yes, you're sadly mistaken. The concept of the soul mate, the one and only other person that could complete me, is a Greek idea that is completely false. There's no such thing. The reality is that there are plenty of people of the opposite sex that would make a good spouse for you. It takes work and it takes the decision to love them. Sure, by the grace of God, you could choose to love anyone. But there are people out there that are more in line with you than others and are therefore easier to love and make life more enjoyable.
Our author intimates that we should love our church body for better or for worse. But there's a problem with his argument here as well. It would make no sense whatsoever for you to marry the first person you ever went on a date with. It takes time (and at least a little heartache) to know the kind of person that you would want to choose as your spouse.
It's the same with the church. It would be foolish to say that the first church you ever walk into is the perfect church for you for life and that there will never be another. You need to know what kind of worship style you can engage in. You need to know what your spiritual needs are and that they can be met. You need to know how you can serve the Church and that there is an opportunity for you to do that with the gifts you have been given. You need to make mistakes in order to learn what is right for you and to know what it means to feel Christ calling you a certain direction.
Sometimes, you've been on one date when you know that it isn't right. Sometimes it takes months or years to figure it out. Sometimes, the engagement is broken off when the wedding has been planned. Just because you've been attending a church for a couple of years or you grew up there doesn't mean that you are committed for life. You should still be free to explore other churches where you can grow closer in your walk with Christ.
3. Seasons of Life
There are 5 vows that you take when you join a PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) body. "Till death do us part" is not uttered in any of them. People understand that sometimes life takes you away from your chosen church. It's not a divorce; it's a relocation. So why does it feel so controversial when life changes inspire you to change church bodies across town as opposed to cross state or cross country?
Look, you're (hopefully) constantly growing in Christ. You're constantly growing in your ability to use your gifts for Him. Even your worship becomes more mature. The point is, your needs are constantly changing.
I've had the pleasure of having my children with me this week for their Spring break. Because of the Parenting Plan in place, we stay with my parents when the kids are with me. I've tried really hard this week to be a good Dad, a good Son, a good Fiance', and a good employee... and I haven't done so well.
Ever try to be everything for everyone? It doesn't work out very well most of the time. Your church is no different. It can't be everything that everyone needs all the time. To avoid stagnating and backsliding, you will need to find a way to continue your growth. Sometimes that means that your church can't meet your needs during that season and it's time to move on.
Conclusions
Changing churches isn't a rejection of the Church. It doesn't have to be a rejection of your church. It should be an extension of your passionate pursuit of Christ. Whether it's your need for personal growth, better utilizing your spiritual gifts for Christ's gain, or even to be more in tune with your worship of Christ, there will be changes in venue from time to time.
Yes, the Church is made of sinners just like you and me. No, none of them will ever do everything perfectly. No, you don't have to pretend to be perfect. Sometimes, there's something you can't get past on prayer and will alone and the only way to get back in tune with your Savior is to leave that body for a season or permanently. You're not saying that what they are doing is bad. You're not saying that they aren't doing a great job for the other people there (because most likely, they are). You're just saying that you as one person or as a family need something different than they offer and are perhaps offering something different than they need.
Having said all of that, when you do make the choice to join a church body, it should not be taken lightly. You should be asking a lot of questions and really getting to know the leadership and the body. Although membership isn't on the same commitment level as marriage, it is a serious commitment. Even when you're plugged in and things are going great, I would still encourage you to take your time and really get to know the body you wish to belong to.
Once you've made that commitment, you should do what you can to work through issues that come up. Don't assume, though, that you grow and mature at the same rate as your church does. There is an effort required to maintain any kind of relationship, including with the church. If you get to a point where the church is unwilling or unable to help you grow, help you make use of your spiritual gifts (not just plug you into something and call it service), or you are unable to engage in worship, then you should consider that it may be time to move on. We are not all called to walk the same path and the responsibility of walking the path set before us is ours, not our church's.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Something You (& the Church) Need to Know About Blended Families
There is a question that we are asked more and more frequently as we get closer to our wedding that, frankly, has gone beyond the point of being just a mild irritation.
When are you going to have kids of your own?
and the closely related...
How many kids are you going to have?
Typical church mentality. Be born, be baptized, join the church, get married, and make babies. The cycle now is the supposed expectation of blended families as well. It's something that, to put it bluntly, the church in general needs to stop, and so do many of you. I'm going to explain more in just a moment, but before I do, let me clarify something briefly.
I am certain that there are churches out there that do a good job serving blended families, divorcees, and remarried couples. The church in general, however, really doesn't know what they're doing or how to deal with this kind of situation. You can't expect someone that's never lived in Europe to give you a reasonable idea of what it's like. They can tell you things they've read or stories others have told, but there are just too many things that are missed when you haven't actually experienced it. The same goes for blended families - people that haven't experienced it simply aren't qualified to deal with it.
Still taking issue with my stance? Look at Christ Himself. He experienced and overcame every temptation that could occur to man so that no one can say "Jesus, You don't know what I'm going through." He does because He has. Want to know what it's like to compete in a triathlon? I can help. Need to know what it's like to go through seminary? You'll need to look elsewhere. Book knowledge and training are no substitute for experience.
Okay, moving on.
There are several issues that I have with the expectation that just because we are starting a blended family means we are automatically having more kids. Look at the kids that we already have. Children are not houses. It's not an issue of I give up my house, she gives up her house, and we move into our house. You don't just push your kids aside so that you can make "our" kid(s). But that's exactly the way you come across when you ask us about it.
Also, there's real brokenness here. I'm the father of 8 year old twins that has been their Dad for 2 years. I spent 6 years not being the Dad they needed me to be and all of us are still figuring out how to maximize that relationship. I'm not putting that aside to hit the reset button and start over, hoping to get it right this time. Imagine that your Dad was present without being there. Suddenly, he comes out of the darkness and he's the Dad you always hoped he could be. Then, a new baby comes along and he's too tired and sleep deprived to be the Dad you became so excited about. That's simply not fair.
What about my fiancee' who doesn't bring children to the marriage? She's learning how to be the parent of 8 year old twins. That's a completely different learning curve and experience than having a newborn. That kind of parenting doesn't translate into having a newborn. This is so much more sacrificial than that. She's choosing to accept these children when she doesn't have to. She's choosing to forgo some of the joys that come from pregnancy forward to make sure that these children are loved and secure first.
Then there's the reality of being the non-custodial parents. With 2 weekends a month and shared holidays, my children are in and out. We try to be the best influence on them that we can, make sure that they know they're loved, and that they get to know Jesus while they're here. It's not a fair card to be dealt when you have full time children with you and then somehow try to maintain the energy and focus on the ones you have part time. Who loses out? The newborn? The children you already have? Your spouse? Folks, this is already a high risk marriage, and you're asking us about adding another layer of complication without thinking about the consequences.
These are only some of the issues I have when it comes to the children we already have. There are many other considerations that most people fail to think of.
So stop asking us when we're going to have a child of our own. We already have two! It's not an issue of "I'm marrying him, and he's got two kids that will be with him part of the time." It's "WE are getting married, and WE are blessed that WE already have two children that WE deeply love."
When we get married, my children will be part of the ceremony and officially become our children. In our own way, as a family of four, we'll be publicly committing ourselves as husband and wife, Mom and Dad, and Daughter and Son. We are children of the One True King and we love our Savior. We know where He's pursued us and what He's rescued us from. We know His tangible grace and mercy to us by what He's already done.
What I am asking you to do is stop trying to dilute how important and special that is by assuming that our marriage is somehow unfulfilled or that we are to be pitied by committing to love the children we already have in the best way we know how. And please, do not assume that your traditional family model simply translates over nicely to a blended family. There are issues here that I hope you will never have to experience. In spite of them, we are going to love our Father, each other, and our children in the best way that we know how. All we are asking is for you to believe that the work God is doing through our family may not look like what you expect it to.
When are you going to have kids of your own?
and the closely related...
How many kids are you going to have?
Typical church mentality. Be born, be baptized, join the church, get married, and make babies. The cycle now is the supposed expectation of blended families as well. It's something that, to put it bluntly, the church in general needs to stop, and so do many of you. I'm going to explain more in just a moment, but before I do, let me clarify something briefly.
I am certain that there are churches out there that do a good job serving blended families, divorcees, and remarried couples. The church in general, however, really doesn't know what they're doing or how to deal with this kind of situation. You can't expect someone that's never lived in Europe to give you a reasonable idea of what it's like. They can tell you things they've read or stories others have told, but there are just too many things that are missed when you haven't actually experienced it. The same goes for blended families - people that haven't experienced it simply aren't qualified to deal with it.
Still taking issue with my stance? Look at Christ Himself. He experienced and overcame every temptation that could occur to man so that no one can say "Jesus, You don't know what I'm going through." He does because He has. Want to know what it's like to compete in a triathlon? I can help. Need to know what it's like to go through seminary? You'll need to look elsewhere. Book knowledge and training are no substitute for experience.
Okay, moving on.
There are several issues that I have with the expectation that just because we are starting a blended family means we are automatically having more kids. Look at the kids that we already have. Children are not houses. It's not an issue of I give up my house, she gives up her house, and we move into our house. You don't just push your kids aside so that you can make "our" kid(s). But that's exactly the way you come across when you ask us about it.
Also, there's real brokenness here. I'm the father of 8 year old twins that has been their Dad for 2 years. I spent 6 years not being the Dad they needed me to be and all of us are still figuring out how to maximize that relationship. I'm not putting that aside to hit the reset button and start over, hoping to get it right this time. Imagine that your Dad was present without being there. Suddenly, he comes out of the darkness and he's the Dad you always hoped he could be. Then, a new baby comes along and he's too tired and sleep deprived to be the Dad you became so excited about. That's simply not fair.
What about my fiancee' who doesn't bring children to the marriage? She's learning how to be the parent of 8 year old twins. That's a completely different learning curve and experience than having a newborn. That kind of parenting doesn't translate into having a newborn. This is so much more sacrificial than that. She's choosing to accept these children when she doesn't have to. She's choosing to forgo some of the joys that come from pregnancy forward to make sure that these children are loved and secure first.
Then there's the reality of being the non-custodial parents. With 2 weekends a month and shared holidays, my children are in and out. We try to be the best influence on them that we can, make sure that they know they're loved, and that they get to know Jesus while they're here. It's not a fair card to be dealt when you have full time children with you and then somehow try to maintain the energy and focus on the ones you have part time. Who loses out? The newborn? The children you already have? Your spouse? Folks, this is already a high risk marriage, and you're asking us about adding another layer of complication without thinking about the consequences.
These are only some of the issues I have when it comes to the children we already have. There are many other considerations that most people fail to think of.
So stop asking us when we're going to have a child of our own. We already have two! It's not an issue of "I'm marrying him, and he's got two kids that will be with him part of the time." It's "WE are getting married, and WE are blessed that WE already have two children that WE deeply love."
When we get married, my children will be part of the ceremony and officially become our children. In our own way, as a family of four, we'll be publicly committing ourselves as husband and wife, Mom and Dad, and Daughter and Son. We are children of the One True King and we love our Savior. We know where He's pursued us and what He's rescued us from. We know His tangible grace and mercy to us by what He's already done.
What I am asking you to do is stop trying to dilute how important and special that is by assuming that our marriage is somehow unfulfilled or that we are to be pitied by committing to love the children we already have in the best way we know how. And please, do not assume that your traditional family model simply translates over nicely to a blended family. There are issues here that I hope you will never have to experience. In spite of them, we are going to love our Father, each other, and our children in the best way that we know how. All we are asking is for you to believe that the work God is doing through our family may not look like what you expect it to.
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