In the Old Testament, the Israelites were warned against marrying into other cultures. Men were forbidden from taking wives of other nations and they were forbidden from giving their daughters to men of other nations for their wives. When they disobeyed, God punished the Israelite nation.
In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul tells us "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV) No longer a warning against marrying those from another nation, the focus is squarely placed on those who are non-believers in Christ.
Both of these fall back on the same tangible consequence - Evangemarriage doesn't work. A spouse that does not belong to Christ is going to be more effective at tempting you into a worldly lifestyle or bringing in elements of another religion than you will be in converting him/her. It's the very reason that the first question most Christian parents ask of a new boyfriend/girlfriend is if they belong to Christ.
Okay, it's time for a history lesson. In the Old Testament, we don't see that the Israelites condemned the marriages of those people who were not of their nation. Yet, since those people were not set apart by God at that time, it was not possible for their marriages to bound in Covenant with God.
Fast forward to the New Testament. The issue is the same. No one is condemning the marriages of those that are non-believers. Check out what Paul and Silas told their jailer: "Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.”" (Acts 16: 30-31, ESV).
You see, the issue was not that their marriage was outside of God's covenant. The issue was that they were sinners who were not yet saved! The much more important issue was the state of their hearts. Only when they were willing to accept Jesus for who He was and the Spirit entered them could they actually begin to have the heart change that comes with true conversion. Only then could the Spirit fight against their sinful nature and ensure that it wasn't just a show. Only then could instruction in the truth begin with an expectation of repentance.
The only place that we see the marriage relationship insight an issue among the Christian forefathers is when it is between a Christian and a non-Christian (or Israelite and non-Israelite prior to Christ). The Christian community has never had an outspoken issue with marriage outside those who believe until now - when homosexuals are allowed to marry.
Why Is Homosexual Marriage So Upsetting?
I am now moving from what is in the Bible to the interpretation I have been led to and opinion based on what I have seen. I'm not a theologian and I've never been to seminary. I'm just a sinner saved by grace trying to understand what's going on and what it means to us as Christians.
Our country was founded by God fearing men based on the principles of freedom and the beliefs held by Christian men. For a long time, we have enjoyed a political environment that more or less lined up with our beliefs, at least on the big issues. We came to believe that our nation was a Christian nation. After all, it says "In God We Trust" on our money (at the moment, anyway).
What we forgot was that the United States of America is not an extension of the Christian Church. There is no requirement to be a man or woman of Christian beliefs to run it and you are free to hold whatever religious beliefs you want to. As Christians believing that this country belonged to us, we take personal offense when decisions are made against our beliefs. Now that the country is largely led by people who do not line up with Christian beliefs, it should be no surprise that laws are being passed contrary to what we know to be true.
We weren't upset when two non-Christians got married because it looked like what we expected marriage to be... even though it wasn't. We got comfortable with allowing superficial appearances to give us an excuse to look the other way. Now we can't since this kind of relationship is expressly forbidden in the Bible. But is it any more or less sinful?
What Do We Do?
Remember, in this life there are two sets of standards. One based on the absolute truth found in Scripture. The other based on the relativism and current sociological climate. We will all be held to the same standard when we meet God, but only Christians realize it. Since our non-believing countrymen don't know or understand that, we can't expect them to behave in the same way that we would.
Now, more than ever, it's obvious that our own country is a mission field. Millions of people are being led astray by politicians, media, social media, and their own misguided ideas. We need to live what we preach. We need to be willing to have tough conversations and back up what we believe with the truth found in Scripture. We need to be prepared to do that lovingly, gently, and patiently.
When we realize that God's people have never been in an outrage over a non-believing, heterosexual couple's right and desire to marry, we need to keep it in context. There has always been a difference between a marriage between two non-believers and the Covenant Marriage between Christians. We just haven't been up in arms about it. Homosexual marriage is no different - it is a union that is civil only, not endorsed by or in covenant with God.
Our response should not be one of uproar. Sure we're disappointed, but these are still just sinners that need to hear the truth of God's word and be given the opportunity to accept or reject the saving grace of Jesus Christ. They will be held responsible for their response to the call and knowledge.
Where we respond in a way that is different from viewing people as needing to be reached in the mission field is when one or both claim Christ. If they have made the choice to following Jesus, then they are held to the same standard that we hold every other Christian to. At that point, it is our responsibility as their brothers and sisters to instruct them lovingly in Scripture and support them through their struggles. If they refuse to accept that their relationship is sinful, we have instruction on how to deal with that in the Bible as well.
A Better Solution Than Politics
Keep in mind that this does not in any way change how God defines marriage. 5 men in black robes can not tell God what marriage is or isn't. This is not a defeat and it does not damage what a Covenant Marriage is, it only delineates it further and this could be good for the Christian church. It's past time that we are outspoken about what Covenant Marriage is and what civil marriage is.
A group of pastors in Texas has come up with a simple and brilliant solution for the Christian church to respond. They will no longer act as agents of the state in performing a marriage. Instead, the ceremonies that they perform will be to certify a Covenant Marriage between the couple and God. The official paperwork certifying the civil marriage will be taken care of by the couple and signed by a notary instead. In this way, the church can give its official approval on God honoring marriages and take themselves out of the position of performing marriages for the state.
Read more about that here.
Who knew that this Presbyterian could be in agreement with a group of Southern Baptists?
I would advise caution to all of my Christian brothers and sisters out there. Not out of fear, but out of love. Allow the emotion of disappointment, fear, or anger to take it's course before prayerfully considering how you can respond in love and by the will of Jesus Christ. He would not hate these people, He would be moved to compassion for them. Compassion doesn't excuse the sin or change the condition of their hearts, but it does motivate us to ensure that our response has the chance to bring them into a real relationship with Christ.
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