Is Being Unequally Yoked Really a Warning About Marriage?

If you've been around Christian circles much, you've likely heard the warning against being “unequally yoked.” Perhaps you've even been burned in a relationship by it as good Christian boys and girls are encouraged to only date and marry other believers. But what does the Bible really say? Is this just another Christian cliché used to keep bad boys away from good girls?

Let's look at the actual text.

Found in 2 Corinthians 6 and starting in verse 14, we read “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are temples of the living God...” and the passage goes on to offer proof to the statement that we are temples.

The first thing that stands out to me is that there's no mention of marriage here. In fact, there's no mention of marriage in the entire chapter. That leads me to take a closer look at the term “yoked” since it seems to be a rather strange picture. In my admittedly limited research (some days I wish I was in ministry full time so I could spend more effort on research), this is a pretty direct translation. Agriculturally, it would be a warning not to put, say, an ox and a donkey on the same yolk.

When I looked at different commentaries, there were certainly different interpretations, including one popular commentator that suggests Christians should even avoid friendships with non-believers. I don't know that it's quite that extreme, but wisdom grows with time and learning. The way I see it, being yoked with another is two people in partnership attempting to work together. If your goal is the same, it can work out pretty well. If your aims are different, it's going to be a struggle.

But what about the same goals for different reasons? For example, what about partnering with an LGBT group that opposes abortion? Motivation matters in this case. We believe abortion is wrong because of the evidence we find in scripture. Our hypothetical partners in this case have a foundation on shifting sand. Their support may swing the other way before long. Even if it doesn't, turn the conversation to what the Bible has to say about their lifestyle and see how well that partnership continues.

Paul also leaves us with several rhetorical questions. They may be rhetorical, but they are still thought provoking. Light and darkness? They don't get along. Light overpowers darkness no matter what. Darkness has to hide from the light in order to exist.

The righteous and lawless? One of you lives according the law and the other ignores it. You might play by the same rules for a little while, but sooner or later the criminal makes his own.

Believers and unbelievers? The absolute truth of God's word up against the shifting tides of social change. Again, they may line up from time to time, but it won't last.

The temple with idols? Placing other statues of gods in the place designated to worship the One True God. I don't know how your marriage works, but my wife should be concerned if I start posting pictures of exes all over the wall.

And maybe the strangest – Christ with Belial? Who or what is Belial? There are varying theories out there, but they center around the idea of being the personification of evil in the Old Testament and Paul is possibly attributing the name to Satan specifically here. Regardless, Jesus and Satan/evil personified are polar opposites.

One other thing I noticed, the text specifically states to not be unequally yoked with “unbelievers” - plural. Marriage is between one man and one woman, not multiple spouses.

What I'm getting out of this isn't the idea that this verse is specifically talking about marriage. It's broader than that but would include marriage as a form of partnership in which an unequal yolk would be damaging.

So for those of us who are Christians, this is more than just encouraging our children to avoid dating relationships and marriages with non-believers or pursuing them ourselves. We still have a responsibility to live in the world and be instruments God can use to reach the lost. This isn't a call to eliminate all relationships with non-believers. However, we should look carefully at each of the partnerships in our lives (or future opportunities) and determine if it is appropriate to maintain.